Monday, 31 March 2014

The weakest Link

I appeal to people reading my blog, that if you come across such a situation in your family, to please come forward to offer moral support and help in essential requirements of the patient.These are really testing times and though you cannot lessen the physical suffering of the patient but with your kind gestures you can give them great mental strength that is required to fight such a serious disease.Staying at Mr. Nayyar's parental house where his brother and bhabhi live, we felt guaranteed that we were going to receive love and support from them in order to look after Mr. Nayyar as advised by doctors.Mr. Nayyar is the youngest of all brothers and he dearly loved all his brothers,bhabhis' and their children.He may have not expressed it in words so much but in actions he did.He was so warm in his welcoming when the brothers and families would come to Doon for vacations.He loved serving, he loved being a host, he loved it when he could make his family happy and comfortable.He was a foodie but he received more joy in serving good food with his own hands to family and guests.He would give fantastic head massages to one and all.Our children learnt the same from us that guests were  like God and they enjoyed the happy atmosphere of home.

But, unfortunately and to our shock, things spanned out to be very different at Mr. Nayyar's parental house.It was quite obvious that his own people drew away from taking responsibility of Mr. Nayyar's and our care.My children and I were under the carer's stress and this was a time when we all could have done with some tender, love and care as this meant we could do our best for My. Nayyar as well.But at such a point in life, the family members at the Delhi house failed to look after our basic nutritional requirements let alone meeting the nourishment needs of a sick patient who was advised constant small meals like soups,fruits and protein rich foods.I want to here appreciate my children who quietly continued to do their best for dad and completed every task like showering him, dressing him,preparing his meals,feeding him,assisting and encouraging him for exercises without letting him know what was going on around them.I taught my children not to be a burden on anyone and so they hand washed their own clothes,cleaned their utensils after meals and so on.But Mr. Nayyar sensed the cold attitude of the family and felt very sad with the behavior of his own people.We and Mr. Nayyar spent a lot of time outside in the adjacent park to refresh our minds and debrief.There were some instances, that hurt Mr.Nayyar deep inside and scarred him till the end more so because it came from his own blood and that too in sickness.These instances may not be appropriate to disclose here but I have mentioned this phase of his journey too as this is reality like everything else that happened to him during his fight with cancer.And today you may not think that people you love are capable of failing you but if they do, be prepared and don't let it make you give up.

Mr. Nayyar took a difficult decision to shift from his parental house to one of his cousin's house for the sake of his and our psychological health as any stress in such sickness can be the tipping point.But Mr. Nayyar was a great soul, he told his family and friends asking explanation for the move, that it was due to the proximity to the hospital.The reason I mention such sensitive details in my honest blog is not to gain sympathy or to expose others but only for my readers to understand that good deeds in life begin at home.You don't have to be religious and pray in temples,your deeds will speak for you.Money is not everything, know the power that lies in moral support and care.

1 comment:

  1. Ma reading this blog and going through papa's photos invokes so many memories of Dad.He was a great soul and we learn so much from how he handled the delicate situations and never let anyone feel small.This is a great way to keep papa fresh in our memories and remember his teachings.Yes, his pain was enormous and life very short which is the biggest sore left in our lives.